Tired At Work- Money For A Holiday

Despite the fact I didn't get to sleep until 6 this morning- I'm alright.

I have a new placement for two weeks (Wish it was longer) finding out where it is later on today. Where could it be? Another school, the council, an office, post office, court (doubt it) - I hope it's another school- I loved working at a Primary School- you don't have to be so serious and pretend you know what you are doing- you don't have to impress a child (In their mind, you're a grown up so you must know what you are doing) ....plus- I had such a laugh! I love kids! Their imagination is fantastic (maybe a bit too over active at times- but that is all thanks to the many books and films around now) and they don't judge you- you're their friend and there we go.

I'd be rubbish at a High School... I'd be too scared of the young adults- I've practically only just left school myself!! I wouldn't be able to tell them off! well... to be fair- I couldn't tell the youngsters off- I was laughing with them (not very professional- but I'm not a teacher so why should I tell them off for having fun?)

I've already worked for the council- it wasn't my cup of tea though- I was a "switchboard" lady- saying the same things over and over again- and plus I was only a casual worker so I hardly learnt anything....

We shall see...

After my placement for 2 weeks- I hope I get another job asap!! I need the money!!

I shouldn't be thinking about a holiday- but I haven't been on one for 4 years :( so I need one!! Plus it's something to occupy me and to help me save my money.. my way of seeing it anyway.

I would like to go to Barcelona (well- TomTom (one of my close mates from Uni) suggested it and now I can't seem to get the idea out of my head) It seems perfect to me! Sun, Views, Nights out, Relaxation, Beach, Pool..... PERFECT!!

BARCELONA!!! Yes Please!!

So- first step to getting there is to save money.... hmmmm- how am I going to figure this out? I think it's an idea to go in.....August. So I have....7 months. And I'm thinking of going end of August. I have about 30/32 weeks to save money!! hmmm- I'll try to make it! Wish me luck :P

(Staying in my room for today- everyone in my family are ill with some sort of bug.... I probably will have it next- but I thought I'd stay away just incase) ..... when I get ill- I AM ILL :(

I looked after my Mam with her illness all through the night- so I suppose that's why I can't get to sleep at normal hours.... but I think there's another reason- but what is it? :/

Money Money Money

Why can't I be more like my oldest sister? She knows how to manage her earnings/money in general.

She has a comfortable home (incredibly jealous) a car (why do people want to know the make of a car?.....surely it's more important that it actually runs and gets you to places safely..and that it's cheap) she has a husband and child (I used to be jealous until I met Chris.. we're not planning on getting married yet though... it's only been 5 months!!...and a child is a bit too big of a step for now) She worked her way up the career ladder (very proud of her but if only I could do that... I'm sure I could- but it's so hard to find a job) and she is very beautiful and is adored wherever she goes (we're beautiful in our own ways I suppose)

I love her very much and I just wish I could be more like her, but I really don't know how to.

I am trying to find a job but there's nothing available! The parents are nagging me to try harder- but what are they expecting me to do?

To be honest- I guess I'm making it harder for myself by saying I don't want to work in a shop. The reason being is because I think I'd be rubbish at it... selling things- I wouldn't know what to say! "this cushion is made out of...... pigs' furr"... (eurgh) is that believable?? or maybe.... "This dress is the same design as Julia Roberts dress from the movie Notting Hill" ... what a load of rubbish!

I just don't know what to do??

Yes I'm a Temp- but I don't want to be a temp all my life.... it's not too bad but it would be nice to earn enough to get a place of my own.

I've always wanted my music to be noticed- but who doesn't want their music to be noticed these days? I may have a chance- but I don't know how to go about doing it??

Make money.

Concider My Options:
Receptionist,
Secretary,
School Assistant,
Shop Assistant,
Administrative Work,
General Office Work,
......Been looking online for anything along the lines of the above... but no such luck for me I'm afraid!

Will keep looking... and I suppose I should ask my sister for advice....

D.O.G

I would really like a pet. Not sure what though? I've always wanted a cat, but almost everyone I know is allergic to them. Also, they have a nasty habit of running off and having more than one home.... greedy really! Scratching isn't something I enjoy either- and finding cat hair here there and everywhere (and worst of all- for me- on your clothes...especially dark clothing) Sure they're adorable and purr at you lovingly (admitedly only if you're feeding them) .......but nah I don't want one anymore.

What about a dog?? Not a little annoying yappy dog that you can put in your handbag (I will never understand that.....) or a BIG horse of a dog that jumps on you every time you walk through the door and it feels as if you've been thrown in an abandoned pond. I would prefer a Spaniel. (Always been a big fan of Lady & the Tramp) They are lovely dogs.

Yes, I have decided on a dog I think.... (and maybe a cat) Going for walks, playing in the garden, teaching her/him new tricks. Hard work I know- but it would be worth it.

But there's a problem..... I need a place of my own..... and enough money to get a place of my own. A girl can dream. Maybe in a few years or so.

POSSIBLE NAMES FOR A SPANIEL

Lady .....(I'm kidding....especially if it's a boy)

Dog....

Stop it....

Chocolate Droppings

Snot

....Ill be more serious

erm..... George

I have no idea- I guess it depends on what it looks like and what not. But it won't be a silly name like "pompom".......unless it did infact look like a pompom.

On a more serious note. Will hopefuly be starting a new post soon- no idea where yet though- it all depends on what they (Temps) have on offer. Fingers crossed.

Right- I am now off to watch a film with Chris.

PS

I'm calling it D.O.G

Lack Of Sleep & A Runny Nose

My sleeping pattern is all over the place- no idea why!

I'm sure you're supposed to have a reason for lack of sleep- Something on your mind, someone is annoying you and keeping you awake (snoring etc) Something is in your room (spider, moth- I can't stand them!) .... I have no idea why I'm awake until very early hours ( I got to sleep at about 6 last night) Sure, I have a cold but I always thought you slept more when you were not well. So it has baffled me as to why I'm awake this late!

Maybe- without my knowing- I'm worried about something.....
What could it be though?

Well- hopefully I'll figure it out and finaly get some shut eye.

This headache is horrible- paracetamol is rubbish and it isn't working. I should get to sleep... but I can't! what to do, what to do??

Breathing through one nostril doesn't help either....
Concentrating on allowing the other nostril to breathe and when you think you've managed it.... the other nostril decides to be blocked (taking turns to hibernate)

Chris will be here soon- maybe he'll know what to do..... that's what I'm hoping anyway.

Well.... I'm off back to bed to keep warm (Sleeping is pretty much out of the question)

I've spotted some chocolate....

xxx

P.S

Chris is here and has just informed me that you only breathe through one nostril at a time (they take turns to have a nap)

Why didn't they tell me that at school? or maybe they did and I wasn't listening. ( I was probably more interested in actually breathing through my nose rather than studying it)

Sweet & Sour

"I'm going through life wondering what to do with myself"

And to be fair....I'm loving it.

Why be depressed about it??

I've achieved what I wanted to achieve. Sure they aren't exactly a degree or a top job, but I feel it's worth more:

HAPPINESS!

I am FINALY happy. Not only with my life in general, but with EVERYTHING!

I may have my ups and downs but who doesn't? Nobody's life is that perfect (and trust me, my life hasn't exactly been perfect. Another tale for another day)

From waking up every morning and wondering "why do I even bother?", to "Pass me the Shreddies, I have a long mystery ahead of me"

What don't I have to be happy about? I have my health, a warm and comfortable home (admitedly I still live with my parents but it's still a roof over my head) a loving partner (Christopher) I have amazing friends and family, a job (a Temping job. There are so many possibilities and the experience is exciting! I have met so many people and made so many friends... and people I didn't like. Life so far has been delicious, just like my favourite meal- Pasta Bolognaise! Yum!

Sadness has been a part of my life for far too long. Feeling lost, unwanted and as if I'm drifting away from one thing to the next, adding one problem to another. Bad relationship after bad relationship. Hopes of a great career as a singer and wondering why I believed I could make it. Worried of being alone. Afraid of being different.

A teenager's mind. I never want to go back there.

If I had never been through the darkness, I wouldn't be who I am today. A young woman who believes she can make it no matter what life throws at her. I am a Temp and I love it. I can sing (I will be trying for my Grade 8 singing award in a few months and I'm looking forward to it as I will be able to teach children and adults myself, if I pass) I can play the piano (Very badly I grant you but I can play none the less) I also play the harp (In all fairness I haven't been near a harp in a few years but am starting it again sometime this year... if I follow my new year's resolution) I play sport (Moreso this year thanks to the help of wii fit... so I guess that's cheating- but I've never felt so healthy in my life) .... but I can actually play netball, football, table-tennis, badminton and I occasionally go bike riding.

I finished my GCSE's and As/ALevel and I was happy with my results.

Despite me going to University, I didn't finish. It wasn't for me I'm afraid. I prefer learning by doing, rather than learning by watching. But yes, the experience was fantastic. FREEDOM! ALCOHOL! STUDENT LOAN! But that wasn't all..... I grew up. Naivity is something to cherish. But not when it comes to adulthood. To be honest, it terrified me and I wanted to come home within the first few days. I was surrounded by drugs, sex, binge drinking and all sorts of things I wasn't used to. I wasn't alone. Young adults from here, there and everywhere were going through exactly the same thoughts and fears as me. Without them, my friends, I would have happily said goodbye to student life sooner. At least I gave it a go.

Growing up is terrifying! I think I've done alright so far..... my poor poor parents! But what young adult isn't a handful??

I am very happy to be where I am today, all thanks to everyone in my life. Without you I would still be lost.

I have finaly found my way.

(Trying to get my music noticed....don't really know how though to be honest)

More from me next time

XxX