Sweet & Sour

"I'm going through life wondering what to do with myself"

And to be fair....I'm loving it.

Why be depressed about it??

I've achieved what I wanted to achieve. Sure they aren't exactly a degree or a top job, but I feel it's worth more:

HAPPINESS!

I am FINALY happy. Not only with my life in general, but with EVERYTHING!

I may have my ups and downs but who doesn't? Nobody's life is that perfect (and trust me, my life hasn't exactly been perfect. Another tale for another day)

From waking up every morning and wondering "why do I even bother?", to "Pass me the Shreddies, I have a long mystery ahead of me"

What don't I have to be happy about? I have my health, a warm and comfortable home (admitedly I still live with my parents but it's still a roof over my head) a loving partner (Christopher) I have amazing friends and family, a job (a Temping job. There are so many possibilities and the experience is exciting! I have met so many people and made so many friends... and people I didn't like. Life so far has been delicious, just like my favourite meal- Pasta Bolognaise! Yum!

Sadness has been a part of my life for far too long. Feeling lost, unwanted and as if I'm drifting away from one thing to the next, adding one problem to another. Bad relationship after bad relationship. Hopes of a great career as a singer and wondering why I believed I could make it. Worried of being alone. Afraid of being different.

A teenager's mind. I never want to go back there.

If I had never been through the darkness, I wouldn't be who I am today. A young woman who believes she can make it no matter what life throws at her. I am a Temp and I love it. I can sing (I will be trying for my Grade 8 singing award in a few months and I'm looking forward to it as I will be able to teach children and adults myself, if I pass) I can play the piano (Very badly I grant you but I can play none the less) I also play the harp (In all fairness I haven't been near a harp in a few years but am starting it again sometime this year... if I follow my new year's resolution) I play sport (Moreso this year thanks to the help of wii fit... so I guess that's cheating- but I've never felt so healthy in my life) .... but I can actually play netball, football, table-tennis, badminton and I occasionally go bike riding.

I finished my GCSE's and As/ALevel and I was happy with my results.

Despite me going to University, I didn't finish. It wasn't for me I'm afraid. I prefer learning by doing, rather than learning by watching. But yes, the experience was fantastic. FREEDOM! ALCOHOL! STUDENT LOAN! But that wasn't all..... I grew up. Naivity is something to cherish. But not when it comes to adulthood. To be honest, it terrified me and I wanted to come home within the first few days. I was surrounded by drugs, sex, binge drinking and all sorts of things I wasn't used to. I wasn't alone. Young adults from here, there and everywhere were going through exactly the same thoughts and fears as me. Without them, my friends, I would have happily said goodbye to student life sooner. At least I gave it a go.

Growing up is terrifying! I think I've done alright so far..... my poor poor parents! But what young adult isn't a handful??

I am very happy to be where I am today, all thanks to everyone in my life. Without you I would still be lost.

I have finaly found my way.

(Trying to get my music noticed....don't really know how though to be honest)

More from me next time

XxX